My children are grown adults, my spouse that I have left because he punched me in the nose after 36 years of marriage and my sister sent me a plane ticket to get out of there before he killed me.
The issue I am facing now is that since he decided to put my name to be the title holder and he as guarantor. He has been renting out the house for over a year. He allowed the Homeowner's insurance to lapse because, the claim, through the real estate broker is, that a new roof would cost at least $30,000. I am in peril of losing whatever equity is in the house and it is very difficult to get real estate attorneys to return my phone calls so I can clarify some questions I have. The terms of the sale through a private lender (the original owner) is in jeopardy. Now he is using the broker as I way to get a hold of me to tell me the house is in jeopardy of being lost because there is no homeowner's insurance on the house and I do not have $30K to put a new roof on it.
My nerves are frayed. He would always do that. Throw hot potatoes over issues that whatever I thought, said of did were not to his liking. He is a narcissistic psychopath, I have come to learn. As soon as I left the property he already had an apartment available in a Catholic Retirement building and he is living with a male roommate. And had the house rented out.
I have very many issues with my children because of rules, boundaries and regulations they placed on me when I finally left John. On Jan 19 I had a colonoscopy and 5 precancerous tumors were removed. Then, that afternoon the ADA called to tell me that John had agreed to plead guilty to the charges and serve one-year probation, anger management classes, etc. That Friday I called my oldest son to tell him about the colonoscopy (everyone who has died in my family has died of cancer, especially colon cancer). I was absolutely elated that I did not have to travel to Corpus Christi and be confront him in a jury trial, which is what he had wanted to do.
Unfortunately, when I told my son, he hung up on and before he did he told me that I had crossed that line. After that, my daughter unfriended me on Facebook. My youngest son has not spoken to me in about 4 years.
I have failed all of them terribly. My Father died at age 52 when I was 11 and I did not want my children to grow up without a father. But, whenever there had been fights and I called 911, I never followed through with the charges. I am totally responsible for the hell my three children lived through. Sure, there were some good times. But every three months some catastrophe would crop up and the whole picture changed. I made sure they each received a good education and they graduated from college (which I was not able to do). My daughter continued her education and became an attorney and has been practicing law over ten years. The oldest, who is gay and I have no problem with his persuasion, worked for a very many years a Kaiser Permanente in Oakland, CA. He recently left California and moved to Rochester, NY so that he could get an RN degree. The youngest lives somewhere in CT and he graduated from St. Leo's University in FL. He had a major fight with John the last time he was at home and he was thrown out of the house. I did not stand up for him. They each claimed to have gone for the other's throat. I now know it was John because Francis Joseph is a 4th-degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do and is about three times the size of John. Francis Joseph has very good self-control and discipline.
John insisted that I apply for my Social Security retirement at age 62 and so my income is below, below the poverty level. If it were not for the generosity of my brother and sister's family I would be living on the street. I have been taken to the ER because of chronic hypertension which is barely controlled. I also have lots of other issues with my body. After I recovered from throat cancer I was given a lot of antidepressants by various doctors. Finally, when I started seeing a new she told me several of them were basically for the same thing. So, I was hospitalized and a psychiatrist started treating me. He stabilized my chronic depression which is prevalent in my family. Whenever John accompanied me, the doctor would suggest to John that he should make an appointment for himself. That he never did -- I think he knew what he was. But he would always claim I was the one with the problems.
In 2005 the car I was driving to FT. Worth to visit my daughter and son-in-law for Xmas rolled over seven times after the front axle of John's Chevy Tahoe snapped in two. I was air-lifted to a trauma center in San Antonio and since it was an Army hospital my shattered left arm was able to be saved and is full of titanium but it works. I had a hairline fracture of the pelvis and broken ribs. After the hemorrhaging was controlled, they had to wait to stabilize me before they would be able to operate on my left arm. It took several months of rehabilitation before I was able to function at the lowest level and had a semblance of being safe and sound. Imagine all of them had to spend that Christmas in a Motel room until it was visiting hours at the hospital.
After throat cancer and that horrible accident, I continue to wonder why I am still here. What is my purpose? I don't have any purpose that I am aware of. Only getting up each day and starting over again, and then having John still manipulating me through a third party now by telling me I could lose the house because the terms of the contract are not being fulfilled by having homeowner's insurance. Nothing is ever his fault.
I know that my sister has listened and listened and listened and sometimes she just does not know what to say to me and she has her own family and she is much smarter than me and has a lot more life experience. I know that John moved us from Miami to TX in order to get me away from my family and my support network.
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